fulgency: (023)
God-King of the Sun, the King of Kings, the Ki– ([personal profile] fulgency) wrote2019-06-01 09:32 am

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sageprincess: (Conflicting emotions)

[personal profile] sageprincess 2020-04-24 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[Despite how lost and confused she feels in this moment, she still finds enough spirit to muster a tiny pout at his teasing, good-natured and ultimately complimentary as it is. She's not a mother! Not yet! And that's a fair percentage of why this is so difficult for her to deal with. Her descendant didn't give any hints that she would be remembered with love or revulsion, but either way, surely her older self would possess greater wisdom, would be more self assured than her current, anxious self is.

How is she supposed to be the Queen she will be remembered as, if she hasn't lived that life yet?]


What I want to be...

[She parrots, clearly frustrated in her contemplation. She tries to think on this question for several quiet moments, but it ends with her shaking her head.]

... I do not know. That... has not been a priority in a very long time.

[First, she had to become a survivor to escape those that would do her harm for her birthright. Then, she had to be a sage to bring those that hounded her to justice and atone for her mistakes. Now, she is a princess in a world where that title means nothing, the twin weights of destiny and duty so far removed from their place upon her shoulders that she feels like she's floating, without any sense for which way is up.

How is she supposed to want anything for herself, after all of that?]